Why Telus will never rule the world

Although this incident occurred a couple of months ago, a recent conversation with a Telus representative has reminded me of it and annoyed me enough that I feel I have to share yet another reason why I think Telus will never rule the world.
Actually, there is probably a plethora of reasons why Telus will never rule the world.
And I’m not saying this is a bad thing or a good thing, just that I don’t think they ever will. Not that I’m an expert in any way or fashion, I'm just a guy who likes to use words like "plethora", but it is a personal opinion that is entirely correct. And besides, it's not a big deal because who said they were even trying to?

I applied to switch my service location. After speaking with a very cheerful representative who assured me (cheerily) that it was no problem, I was told that service would be disconnected and reconnected on the same day. Naively I thought it would actually play out like that. Hey, we can put a man on the moon right? (Or not, depending on who you talk to, but that’s another blog)
So after waiting a couple of days for the phone to work, I spoke with another (semi-cheery) representative who told me that they would look into it and they would call me on the line when it was working again. I tried the phone a day or so later and lo and behold, a dial tone. The Internet took another ten days but that’s another story. (And another rant)

Many days later, on the 20th of the month actually, I received a phone call from Telus that tells me that my phone service had a problem in their switching area and it was corrected on the 4th of the month, so I am now able to use the phone.
How kind of them. Thanks for calling. So punctual.
So that's one of my reasons why they'll never rule the world.

And now, onto the sales calls that they like to do so often. I used to get lots of them until I made my phone number unlisted to avoid all that. It seemed to stop all of them. But not Telus.
Even though it was their company I was paying to make sure I wasn't getting any of those calls.

After the 7rd or 8th call, I'm hopefully off their marketing lists and won't get anymore of those great dinner hour calls by a cheery, script-reading, salesperson who won't let me get a word in edgewise unless it fits in with the script in front of them. It's sometime during these exchanges where I throw out random words and see how well they can improvise. For example, when they finish asking "Are you aware of all the many features available to you from Telus?" I like to yell out "Butterscotch pudding!!"
If they're listening, you'll get dead air for a moment. If they're not, they don't miss a beat and keep going. It's worth it to try, just for your own amusement. You may also give your mind a workout trying to come up with the most obscure, unrelated, and bizarre words.
Things like: rutabaga, sebaceous, and bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
Try it sometime.