Feelin' like a rant coming on...
OK, I know it's not always pleasant to listen to a rant but I've just had a few days of incredibly stupid behavior at the hands of the general public and I feel I must get this off my chest.
A few days ago, during one of the infrequent dry and not ball-freezing cold days, Megan and I got out our trusty bikes and went for a ride. The tires were a little low and I couldn't find the attachment for the pump to fill them up and it took about 30 minutes to solve the problem but that's not what this rant is about.
The first incident happened while riding towards Trout Lake park. We had to go up on the sidewalk after crossing the busy 12th and Nanaimo intersection. While heading along the sidewalk I noticed a young guy walking towards us. He looked straight at me. Then he looked at the door of the building whose sidewalk he was approaching. He spotted someone he knew, he waved, and immediately turned into our path. Did I mention that he had looked right at us?
I threw on the brakes and began to skid. He jumped out of the way, we barely missed each other and I had to bite my tongue from calling him what I thought of him.
Common sense question 1: When you see 2 bicycles heading towards you at a good speed, do you: A) Stop and allow them to pass. B) Cross the sidewalk first in the direction you want to go, well ahead of the oncoming bikers. C) Clearly notice them but have your walnut-sized brain somehow forget and then change direction at the last second so that you nearly cause damage to yourself and others.
If you picked C, then come on over, I've got a boot to bury in your ass.
About 10 minutes later we were riding the path around the lake. It was fairly busy with walkers, dogs and other people enjoying the balmy weather. We had to deke one pooch who ran right into our way but it's hard to be mad about that because that's the kind of behavior you expect from dogs. Or any animal that licks its balls, humps any leg that goes by and drools a lot. (Which explains why I don't expect much from Toronto Maple Leafs fans)
I had almost forgotten the first moron when moron number two, a jogger, crossed my path. Or rather, came straight at me.
Again, we were riding single file on the right hand side of the path. (the path is about 10 feet across) The jogger, without missing a beat, looked up and saw us coming. At least I assume he saw us, he was wearing sunglasses. His head appeared to look right at us.
I moved over to the edge of the path. He didn't move. At the last minute I realized we were going to collide so I moved off the path and out of the way. He finally realized he was sharing the universe with other objects and jumped out of the way. Apparently his radar only picked up items that were within six inches of him. Again, we were both perplexed by this complete inability to comprehend spatial dynamics. The whole path was empty except for the edge where we were riding. WTF??
Luckily the rest of the ride went relatively sanely. Sure, there were crazy drivers but that just goes with the territory in urban cycling.
Then, the next day we hopped into the car and headed out down the street. I got about a block from the house when I saw a car coming the other way. It was a Toyota Corolla (don't even get me started on the correlation of sh**ty drivers and Toyota Corollas/Camrys) and it seemed to be a little bit on our side of the street. As we got closer it was still on our side of the street and drifting even more. I was waiting for the driver to notice and change direction but he was taking his time. I slowed down. He still came at us. Finally, as it got way too close for me, the driver swerved back onto his side of the street. I was tempted to get out of the car and look for the target that was apparently painted somewhere on me. I didn't even get a chance to honk at him because I was stupefied by his incompetence.
I'd like to say that was the last time this happened but you get the picture. I don't think I need to go on.
So, if you choose to join me on a bike ride or come with me in the car, be warned, I have a real magnetic personality...
A few days ago, during one of the infrequent dry and not ball-freezing cold days, Megan and I got out our trusty bikes and went for a ride. The tires were a little low and I couldn't find the attachment for the pump to fill them up and it took about 30 minutes to solve the problem but that's not what this rant is about.
The first incident happened while riding towards Trout Lake park. We had to go up on the sidewalk after crossing the busy 12th and Nanaimo intersection. While heading along the sidewalk I noticed a young guy walking towards us. He looked straight at me. Then he looked at the door of the building whose sidewalk he was approaching. He spotted someone he knew, he waved, and immediately turned into our path. Did I mention that he had looked right at us?
I threw on the brakes and began to skid. He jumped out of the way, we barely missed each other and I had to bite my tongue from calling him what I thought of him.
Common sense question 1: When you see 2 bicycles heading towards you at a good speed, do you: A) Stop and allow them to pass. B) Cross the sidewalk first in the direction you want to go, well ahead of the oncoming bikers. C) Clearly notice them but have your walnut-sized brain somehow forget and then change direction at the last second so that you nearly cause damage to yourself and others.
If you picked C, then come on over, I've got a boot to bury in your ass.
About 10 minutes later we were riding the path around the lake. It was fairly busy with walkers, dogs and other people enjoying the balmy weather. We had to deke one pooch who ran right into our way but it's hard to be mad about that because that's the kind of behavior you expect from dogs. Or any animal that licks its balls, humps any leg that goes by and drools a lot. (Which explains why I don't expect much from Toronto Maple Leafs fans)
I had almost forgotten the first moron when moron number two, a jogger, crossed my path. Or rather, came straight at me.
Again, we were riding single file on the right hand side of the path. (the path is about 10 feet across) The jogger, without missing a beat, looked up and saw us coming. At least I assume he saw us, he was wearing sunglasses. His head appeared to look right at us.
I moved over to the edge of the path. He didn't move. At the last minute I realized we were going to collide so I moved off the path and out of the way. He finally realized he was sharing the universe with other objects and jumped out of the way. Apparently his radar only picked up items that were within six inches of him. Again, we were both perplexed by this complete inability to comprehend spatial dynamics. The whole path was empty except for the edge where we were riding. WTF??
Luckily the rest of the ride went relatively sanely. Sure, there were crazy drivers but that just goes with the territory in urban cycling.
Then, the next day we hopped into the car and headed out down the street. I got about a block from the house when I saw a car coming the other way. It was a Toyota Corolla (don't even get me started on the correlation of sh**ty drivers and Toyota Corollas/Camrys) and it seemed to be a little bit on our side of the street. As we got closer it was still on our side of the street and drifting even more. I was waiting for the driver to notice and change direction but he was taking his time. I slowed down. He still came at us. Finally, as it got way too close for me, the driver swerved back onto his side of the street. I was tempted to get out of the car and look for the target that was apparently painted somewhere on me. I didn't even get a chance to honk at him because I was stupefied by his incompetence.
I'd like to say that was the last time this happened but you get the picture. I don't think I need to go on.
So, if you choose to join me on a bike ride or come with me in the car, be warned, I have a real magnetic personality...
posted by Biggles at 12:44 AM
1 Comments:
I have seen the light and it has been written. I took awhile but not as long as the last break.
The rant of the week is very well constructed and thoughly entertaining. I found myself not only clenching my teeth at the oncoming lunatics, but also reaching for my can of whip-ass only to realize that I would be spraying the computer screen and that wouldn't quite have the same effect and ruin a perfectly good computer screen.
One can hope that days like this only happen once in a freakin' million.
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