East Van Daze
I feel like I’ve now had my first real East Van experience. While on my way home today I had to take some different turns to get to my place. I ended up stopped at Templeton and Dundas, which is not a great place to try and go straight, especially when it’s rush hour and the line coming from downtown is endless. But I was there and figured I would catch someone crossing at the pedestrian light. It always happens when I’m trying to go through so why not now? Well, for the first time ever there wasn’t a soul in sight. I sat there for a couple of minutes thinking that this sucked a great deal. I was so close to home and I was so very tired and hungry. Finally I saw a girl coming up the street. She was wearing bright pink stretch pants and a ball cap and looked pretty normal and maybe even a bit attractive. (Maybe. Don’t quote me on that.) She saw me and gestured something while she mouthed something. I thought she understood that I was trying to get her to press the button. She started coming towards me and I said, “Could you press the button?” She acknowledged and took a few steps back to get it. Then she turned and came back towards me. I thanked her. She was mouthing something to me but I didn’t know what. It took me a few seconds and then I thought, maybe she’s trying to sell me drugs. She seemed to be speaking very quietly or not at all. It appeared to be “You want some?” The light turned and she was moving in front of the car, still making the motions and asking me something that I wasn’t quite getting. Finally it occurred to me that it wasn’t drugs she was selling. It was herself. I felt a little stupid for not clueing in faster but it was only 6 o’clock and it seemed so out of context but not apparently for this neighbourhood. I quickly gave her the old “Thanks but no, I’m good” and drove off.
Then, about one block from home, after passing the usual assortment of neighbourhood hangers-on, reprobates, and the really slow Chinese guy who takes frickin’ forever to cross the street, I turned down Eton street and right into the path of a couple of ladies. They were dressed a little odd for the time of day and appeared to be going to a party. One was wearing a pair of the hugest shoes I’ve seen in a while, or ever. These things probably added about 5 inches to her overall height. But it didn’t appear to be something she wore very often because she was walking like a cross between a linebacker and a camel. I’m pretty sure she actually was a woman but I couldn’t say for sure.
Anyway, it’s not like I haven’t seen characters like this before, it just hasn’t struck me so obviously as it did today. Guess I’m still not used to coming home through the gauntlet of the east side.
The Line of the day:
In Library 1120 today we were discussing personal reading tastes and styles and had gotten around to the hypothetical question of: what do men read?
Well, after a few comments and back and forth about Iron John and other books about “men issues” we got the answer. Dale, an older and “different” kind of guy who’s a butcher in his other life, piped up with a real showstopper. He tends to talk a fair amount and he had been saying a lot this class.
He says, “What do men read? The bruises on their wife’s back.”
The class stopped on a dime. Michael and I just about bust a gut. Not only was this an incredibly odd thing to say, it was really inappropriate. The rest of the class went dead silent, including the teacher who really couldn’t add much to that. Let me remind you, there are only about 6 or 7 guys in this class of 30 plus people. After the pause, there were a few groans and disapproving comments and Dale started to explain his comment. Pam, who works at Kits with me, thought it was absolutely hilarious and both of us reached for our pens to write down this golden material. (Although she actually thought he had said "neck" instead of "back" which might just be that much more disturbing.)
You just can't come up with this stuff by yourself.
Maybe you had to be there.
**P.S. to the East Van experience**
This morning when I was driving to school at around 9am I saw two guys starting to fight. I was heading west across Broadway about a block from Clark. The traffic is always a little heavy there and the three lanes were backed up about a block. I looked over and saw two guys, one small and one noticeably bigger, who were acting very agressive toward each other. There was some pushing and arguing, although it didn't seem like they were speaking much. Then the big guy threw a weak punch and the small guy responded. The big guy gestured like he was saying "Yeah, now it's on." They began to exchange a few punches. The light went green and traffic started to move. I looked around at other cars to see if anyone else had noticed. Some people had but most appeared to be oblivious. I had to move but I saw the small guy throwing a kick at the big guy. It was getting more intense now, more energetic, and it looked like it was going to turn into a full fight, or a full beating, but there was a truck beside me and I couldn't see anymore as I drove away.
To me, 9 am is way too early in the morning to be fighting.
Then, about one block from home, after passing the usual assortment of neighbourhood hangers-on, reprobates, and the really slow Chinese guy who takes frickin’ forever to cross the street, I turned down Eton street and right into the path of a couple of ladies. They were dressed a little odd for the time of day and appeared to be going to a party. One was wearing a pair of the hugest shoes I’ve seen in a while, or ever. These things probably added about 5 inches to her overall height. But it didn’t appear to be something she wore very often because she was walking like a cross between a linebacker and a camel. I’m pretty sure she actually was a woman but I couldn’t say for sure.
Anyway, it’s not like I haven’t seen characters like this before, it just hasn’t struck me so obviously as it did today. Guess I’m still not used to coming home through the gauntlet of the east side.
The Line of the day:
In Library 1120 today we were discussing personal reading tastes and styles and had gotten around to the hypothetical question of: what do men read?
Well, after a few comments and back and forth about Iron John and other books about “men issues” we got the answer. Dale, an older and “different” kind of guy who’s a butcher in his other life, piped up with a real showstopper. He tends to talk a fair amount and he had been saying a lot this class.
He says, “What do men read? The bruises on their wife’s back.”
The class stopped on a dime. Michael and I just about bust a gut. Not only was this an incredibly odd thing to say, it was really inappropriate. The rest of the class went dead silent, including the teacher who really couldn’t add much to that. Let me remind you, there are only about 6 or 7 guys in this class of 30 plus people. After the pause, there were a few groans and disapproving comments and Dale started to explain his comment. Pam, who works at Kits with me, thought it was absolutely hilarious and both of us reached for our pens to write down this golden material. (Although she actually thought he had said "neck" instead of "back" which might just be that much more disturbing.)
You just can't come up with this stuff by yourself.
Maybe you had to be there.
**P.S. to the East Van experience**
This morning when I was driving to school at around 9am I saw two guys starting to fight. I was heading west across Broadway about a block from Clark. The traffic is always a little heavy there and the three lanes were backed up about a block. I looked over and saw two guys, one small and one noticeably bigger, who were acting very agressive toward each other. There was some pushing and arguing, although it didn't seem like they were speaking much. Then the big guy threw a weak punch and the small guy responded. The big guy gestured like he was saying "Yeah, now it's on." They began to exchange a few punches. The light went green and traffic started to move. I looked around at other cars to see if anyone else had noticed. Some people had but most appeared to be oblivious. I had to move but I saw the small guy throwing a kick at the big guy. It was getting more intense now, more energetic, and it looked like it was going to turn into a full fight, or a full beating, but there was a truck beside me and I couldn't see anymore as I drove away.
To me, 9 am is way too early in the morning to be fighting.
posted by Biggles at 12:57 AM
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